


Hell isn’t others, hell is quarantine

by Baho



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Best Friends, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this for a friend, I wrote this instead of studying, Lucifer Morningstar being an idiot, Mazikeen being an idiot, Mental Health Issues, Minor Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Minor Linda Martin/Mazikeen (Lucifer TV), Not Canon Compliant, Pop Culture, Protective Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Protective Mazikeen (Lucifer TV), Sexual Humor, So here we are, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trixie Espinoza & Mazikeen Friendship, and bad humor, because why the hell not, cause I’m good like that, college is an illusion, oh I forgot, quarantine au, the author thinks she’s funny, the show doesn’t give me enough of their friendship, they share one brain cell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24594565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baho/pseuds/Baho
Summary: Lucifer and Maze are quarantined together.Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Mazikeen & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Hell isn’t others, hell is quarantine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suhflwtae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhflwtae/gifts).



> The Lucifer quarantine AU no one asked for.  
> Thanks to my beta who’s the best

Day 1:

“This can’t be serious ?”  
Maze’s glare was so fierce Lucifer was certain the reporter could feel it in his studio.  
“I’m affraid it is serious as it can be, Mazikeen.”  
To be honest, Lucifer wasn’t thrilled himself. But what choice did he have? It wasn’t like he has been able to eradicate the virus. Thinking about it, he was pretty clever. Maybe he could after all.

Later this day, a frustrated Lucifer stormed in Maze’s room. The demon remained unfazed which frustrated Lucifer even more. His dramatic entrances deserved to be acknowledged.  
“Turns out”, growled Lucifer, “That biology and medicine are fucking hard.”

Day 2:

“This is depressing.”  
Sighed Lucifer. The lux was empty. No music, no dancers, no people having fun, no couples being inappropriate in the corners. Just a huge empty space filled with silence. Fucking depressing.  
“Not as depressing as the stuff written on the restroom walls.”  
“And how would you know? I would have thought you’d be to busy having fun in there to read the writings on the walls if you see what I mean.”  
“Everyone always sees what you mean. And I’m bored okay?”  
That was fair. Sure, Lucifer himself was way too refined to stoop to this level but Maze has always lacked class. He loved her nonetheless. Everyone couldn’t be perfect.

Day 4:

Lucifer was passing. He was already tired of his loft and it has only been four days. Four day without lux. Four days without cases. Four days without the detective. Lucifer was an impatient creature. He loathed being stuck. He loathed not being able to do whatever he wanted whenever it pleased him. He has spent enough time stranded in hell, thank you very much.  
A knife flew way too close to his hear and stabbed the wall behind Lucifer, right next to a painting he was fond of.  
“This”, said lucifer between his teeth, “is an original Bocelli you almost ruined, you animal.”  
Sprawled on the couch, Maze shrugged.  
Yeah, there was that, too. Lucifer loved Mazikeen, he really did. She was his best friend, his right hand man, his guardian demon. But Maze could be insufferable especially when she was as bored and as frustrated as him. Maze was like a cat; fun and playful at times but petty and could urinate on the furniture. In short, one of them had to be reasonable and neither was good at it.  
“Mazikeen, you’re forcing me to be the adult and it isn’t a good look on me. And my old man knows that all looks are good on me.”  
Maze smirked mockingly.  
“Really? Cause I remember the eighties and...”  
“No clue what you’re talking about.” Said Lucifer too quickly.  
“Don’t worry, I have pictures.”  
This right there was why Maze was the best in her job. She really knew exactly where to blew to hurt.

Day 7:

Lucifer proposed a movies marathon. “It can’t be worse than it already is anyway.” was Maze’s response. Knowing the demon, it was an enthusiastic reaction. That’s how Lucifer made the horrifying discovery that his so called best friend didn’t have any cinematographic culture.  
“What do you mean you never watched The Devil Wears Prada?”  
“It sounds pretty clear to me. Besides, I already knew it.”  
“That’s a fair point. But you have to watch ... No wait a sec, we need a list. Do we have some paper in here?”  
Maze looked at him like if he was stupid.  
“Of course not.”  
After some bickering they started their marathon with a Charlie Chaplin movie. Maze spent the first minutes frowning at the screen. Then, her eyes lit up in recognition.  
“Hey I know him.”  
“So you aren’t a lost cause. Good to know.”  
“I tortured him. Such a whinny bitch.”  
Lucifer stopped the movie and put the Lord of the Rings. At the end of the last movie, Maze turned at him, a murderous look darkening her face.  
“Are you fucking kidding me? The fucking eagles could have taken them?”  
Lucifer sighed. Of course she was one of these people.  
“Is that all?”  
“Aragorn’s hot.”

Day 9:

She picked the phone after the first ringtone. He immediately felt relieved. He tried to not worry to much but he couldn’t help himself. He was immune, she wasn’t. Her family wasn’t.  
“Lucifer?”  
Said a cheerful, childish voice. Lucifer tensed. He hasn’t thought that Chloe’s spawn would answer her mother’s phone.  
“Hey kid. Is your mom at home?”  
They were quarantined. Where the fuck could the detective go? Were cops still solving cases? Why didn’t she warn him?  
“Mom’s in the shower. I can tell her you called if you want.”  
For the second time in less than five minutes, Lucifer felt fucking relieved. The detective was okay. The spawn was visibly okay too.  
“Yeah, let’s do that. Is everything alright?”  
“Oh yeah, I’m just...-”  
The kid started babbling about homeschooling and other stuff he didn’t give a shit about whatsoever. Still, he didn’t interrupt her.  
Maze entered the room.  
“Decker?”  
She asked.  
“Her spawn.”  
Muted Lucifer in response. Maze didn’t hesitate. She snatched the phone from him and said:  
“What’s up kiddo?”  
She had a soft font look in her usually burning eyes. Her expression was relieved. Lucifer couldn’t suppress a smile.

Day 12:

Lucifer shoved the game of chess far from him, exasperated.  
“You’re cheating.”  
“Am not.”  
Maze’s grin didn’t falter.  
“How can you be that good at it?”  
“Chess is all about strategy. General of hell, remember? Also, I’m smarter than you.”  
“Fuck you.”  
“Awww, sore loser aren’t you?”

Day 13:

“I’m perfectly fine, doc, I assure you. I have food, my piano, a fuckton of stuff to watch, enough alcohol for an army, don’t ya worry about me.”  
For some reason, the doctor Martinez seemed unconvinced.  
“Are you sure? Lucifer, self-isolation can be a rough blow for one’s mental health and...”  
“Trust me, I’m perfectly fine. And if you don’t believe me, I have a witness. Mazikeen, come here and say to the good doctor that I’m alright would you.”  
As if she has been summoned, Maze popped up on Lucifer’s side. How the hell did she move that fast? She accepted the phone Lucifer handed her and disappeared inside her room.  
Fine. Maze will talk to her crush and Lucifer was gonna do something that wasn’t thinking about how big of a failure he was or about the fact that he was a monster or about his dad... great.

Day 17:

Lucifer couldn’t look away. On the screen, the numbers of dead or sick people were constantly rising. He clenched his fists. He was furious. He wanted to throw up. All these victims, all these innocent people dying and for what? What was his dad’s brilliant plan this time?  
“Okay that’s enough.”  
“What are you doing?”  
Maze ignored the question. She turned the television off, grabbed Lucifer by the arm and physically forced him to stand up from the couch and to follow her into the lift and than in the deserted and sadly silent Lux.  
“Not to repeat myself, but what are you doing? Mazikeen, I’m talking to you.”  
Maze plugged the speakers in. A familiar beat echoed in the empty club. Maze faced him, a determined look in her eye.  
“We’re gonna dance. Or fight. Or fuck. I don’t care. You need to get this rage out of your system, dude.”  
Hours later, tired, sweaty, his muscles aching like hell, Lucifer smiled at Maze.  
“You’re brilliant, Mazikeen.”  
“No shit.”

Day 21:

Lucifer looked at the screen and then at Maze whose dumbfounded expression mirrored his own.  
“Gotta tell Ella The Good Place is stupid.”  
Maze nodded in agreement.

Day 23:

At last, he still could play. Sometimes when Lucifer was playing the piano Maze entered the room and stayed still in a corner, listening. Neither of them talked during these peaceful moments.

Day 26:

“Gotta tell Ella”, said Maze. “Fleabag is stupid.”

Day 30:  
“Wanna try?”  
He hasn’t mean to say that. Why the fuck did he said that?  
Maze stared at him, wide eyed. Surprising her was basically impossible but Lucifer managed to do it without even thinking. He was a genius or a total idiot. Or both.  
Maze lowered her gaze from his face to the piano.  
“What? No. Not my thing.”  
“Come on, give it a try. What are you afraid of?”  
“I’m not afraid.”  
So predictable.  
Lucifer chose an easy piece, something to show Maze the basics. At first, the demon’s calloused hands were clumsy on the keys but Maze never backed down from a challenge and she was stubborn as hell. Soon, she gained in confidence and her hand used to violence were creating something beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
